We recently read that 75% of the parent-child time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent​ by age 12. By the time they turn age 18, 90% of that time together is spent.
As parents now equipped with this knowledge, what do we do when our kids are age 0-18 knowing that these years are the maximum time we have together?
Plant seeds.
Nurture roots.
Parents, we are planting seeds in our children every day of their lives. The harvest will come, but we just don’t know when. Sometimes is shows up quickly (crawling, talking, walking). Sometimes the harvest of talents or values does not come until well after children leave home. So, from age 0 to 18, our job is to plant many seeds and nurture what we can to “fill them up” so that when our kids start their our journey, they don’t start on empty.
Our theme verse is taken from the inspiration of our MASTER GARDENER, our Heavenly Father:
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, ROOTED and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:6-7 [NIV]
ROOTS
When we talk about seeds and roots, we have to reflect a bit on our personal roots – our HERITAGE. Where did I come from? What are my roots? We all come from somewhere. What is the impact of the previous generations on my life? You don’t really know yourself until you see yourself in the context of three generations.
Children are a HERITAGE from the Lord,
Psalm 127:3 [NIV]
offspring a reward from him.
Roots are far reaching. Whenever I had to transplant an item from my garden, I had to be careful not to damage the roots in transit. Many of the fully established roots are hard to pull out.
There are some natural roots the Bible talks about: the consequences of sin (those who hate me) are visited to the 3rd and 4th generation [Exodus 34:7, Deuteronomy 5:9, Numbers 14:18, Psalm 79:8, Psalm 109:14].
Why 3rd or 4th generation? In my experience in counseling, I may see Dad (generation 1) who is very tight with money – very cheap, not gracious, doesn’t practice hospitality. As a result, Son (generation 2) will either REPEAT the behavior of the former or REACT to swing the pendulum in the opposite direction. We aren’t really building our own generation, but rather reacting to how we were raised. The pathology of this starts to show up in 3rd and 4th generations if repeating/reacting continues as opposed to RESPONDING – to stop and investigate why such patterns exist.
When we are born into the family of God, there are some supernatural roots: passing on the blessings, “showing love to a thousand generations of those who love [God] and keep [His] commandments..” [Exodus 20:5-6]. Each generation is responsible for understanding, “What have I received?” and “What am I passing on?” We can pass on blessings through us to our kids. Are our children growing and enjoying in the blessing? Are they only enjoying them? Or are they also growing in righteousness and learning to pass it on?
WEEDS
As we reflect on Heritage, what needs uprooting?
- What are some of the roots that have impacted your family negatively?
- Once identified, acknowledge the pain it has caused.
- Say a prayer of forgiveness, “Father, forgive them, they did not know what they were doing,” or the impact it had on you.
- Get help from a counselor, pastor, or friend to help you walk through this journey.
We come with seeds and weeds from our upbringing. The weeds compete with beautiful plants.
SEEDS
Germination is the development of a plant from a seed after a period of dormancy. We are constantly planting seeds in the the hearts of our children. Those seeds may sit in dormancy for many years before roots develop, and we see a little sprout. Some of those seeds are intentional (values, character). And to be honest, there are some seeds that are unintentional (bad habits, poor attitudes, sin) = weeds. It is important to dig out the weeds, but also continually plant new seeds. Reflect on your own heritage story. What are you going to do differently? Where are you getting your nurture?
Be encouraged my friends! If we nurture the roots today, we can harvest to fruit tomorrow!
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