Roots: Character

We last talked about our HERITAGE or our roots – where we come from and how that influences our parenting. Much of how we parent is grown from the experiences we had growing up with our own parents and their parenting. Sometimes there are weeds in past that we need to root out so that it doesn’t choke out the good. It takes intentionality to nurture the values we gleaned from the generation before, and it takes determination to pass it on to the next generation. Character is the seed that you want to sow into your child’s life.

In our imperfect world with our imperfect parenting, we won’t always get it right. Our conversations are far from Mary Poppins’ spoonful of sugar. Parenting fails are expected. However, every time we do it wrong (which we will) we have a chance to ask for forgiveness and start over. Each day is a new start and opportunity to plant new seeds. And there is potential for the new seeds to take root.

How do we make this happen? Our wisdom comes from our Lord, our Master Gardener, as scripture reminds us:

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

Colossians 2:6-7 [NIV]

GARDENING TIPS

The Lord gave us a guideline of some good character traits.

But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions:
joy that overflows,
peace that subdues,
patience that endures,
kindness in action,
a life full of virtue,
faith that prevails,
gentleness of heart, and
strength of spirit.
Never set the law above these qualities, for they are meant to be limitless.

Galatians 5:22-23 [TPT]

This is easy to read, but hard to LIVE. As a human being, I am limited, but my Master Gardener is limitless. I need Him. Friends, LOVE is THE thing, and it shows up as the fruit described – joy, peace, patience, kindness, virtue, faithfulness, gentleness.

What is character?

• The kind of person you are
• The mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual
• Personality
• Disposition
• Temperament
• What determines your response in a given situation

Our children are watching us to see if what we SAY matches up with how we LIVE. We all came with seeds from our personal upbringing. Weeds (negative experiences/habits/influences) complete with healthy plants (healthy values). Take a minute for a quick character assessment to see:

• What needs uprooting?
• What are the strengths (character and competence)? We want to compliment these everyday.
• What are the weaknesses (lack of character or skill set)? We need to take an honest look at the issues so we know what we working with.

Why we don’t grow?

It is not uncommon to have the bad habit of ignoring our own flaws. Frankly, it is easier to point out everyone else’s problems rather than focus on our own. However, we don’t grow when we don’t take the time to examine our flaws, or we are too tired to change.

When we don’t grow?

What happens when we do not grow? It is easy to just cruise on auto-pilot. However, being comfortable might keep us stuck with our flaws or lend itself to excuses. “If only he would…then I will…” Sentiments like that focus on the faults in others instead of working on the transformation in ourselves.

What am I planting?

Character doesn’t just spontaneously happen. You have to intentionally teach and model – plant a seed. Seeds then develop into roots and hopefully bear fruit. We created a short wish list or legacy goals. What would be your top 3 for your family? What would be 1 to focus on this year for each child?

What would you like to include in your own legacy list of character qualities you want for yourself and in your adult child? In order for this wish list to become a reality, we need to model these qualities ourselves and have them as goals in our training process. Your home is a garden. Never give up on planting seeds into the next generation.

It is never too late to stop doing something that is bad and start something that is good!

Is it hard? Absolutely!

Can I do it? YES!

Hear more at our Resource Library!