Are we having fun yet? From the expressions on your face throughout the day, do your children know that you are GLAD to be their parent? During the middle-of-the-night feedings, temper tantrums, flu, homework, dance recital, and baseball season, we forget that there is JOY in parenthood. We forget the miracle of how we waited so long (and thought it might never happen) for this little baby to come into our family. We forget the cute little sayings, spontaneous hugs, genuine smiles. We forget the cries of, “I want Mama!” come from the hours of nurturing and attachment that you fostered. Our To-Do lists get too long, and our tempers get too short.
What can we do to ENJOY the Parenting Adventure?
Don’t be surprised by the detours. Work, marriage, health, school, church, school activities, sports, music, parents, in-laws . . . they all pull us in a hundred different directions. Even the best plans are subject to failure as soon as the stomach flu hits. Here are some proactive things we can do to take the chaos down a notch or two:
- Take care of your physical needs. What are your survival musts? Coffee, working-out, nap, hot shower, being in nature, prayer & quiet meditation, reading, . . . ? Take an hour to feed your needs so that you can give out of fullness.
- Evaluate and adjust your calendar. Is there anything you can eliminate? Structure your days / week / month / year so that you have times set aside to be flexible and spontaneous, and you can relax with your children.
- Release responsibilities to your children as they grow. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cooking, cleaning up are all life skills we need to mentor. It may not be done like mom does it but there is more than one way to load a dishwasher. Do tasks together as well as delegate jobs.
- Ask for and get help. We were meant to grow and live in community with one another. Don’t be afraid to ask or pay for help.
- Schedule dates and management meetings with your spouse. We are all on the same team, so make sure we are headed in the same direction.
- For children with special needs, research and accept early intervention. There are many resources out there, so be sure to take full advantage of what you can.
- Parent in your own unique way bringing YOUR STRENGTHS to your parenting. Stop measuring your family’s progress by comparing with the Jones. Don’t let your insecurities steal your joy, rather celebrate your family’s unique strengths.
Give value to your parenting. You have a generational and eternal impact. Choose to see joy in each day, and be thankful for it. Parenting is a job that requires much sacrifice, and the returns may not come until 18, 25, 30, . . . years later. Our joy is made complete by being full in the love and knowledge of Christ Jesus and loving our family out of that fullness.
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:1-4 [NIV]