[This post is Part 2 of a 2-part series on Help Me God As I Discipline.]
In our previous discipline post, we discussed the building blocks of discipline based on a foundation of CONNECTING, TRUST & AUTHORITY. The next level involves STRUCTURE and LIMITS.
Children need to know the routine and rules. Structure encourages positive behavior and helps a child avoid negative behavior. It gives children the freedom to move within safe boundaries. Some practical tips to provide structure:
- Tell your child what to expect
- Establish a routine and follow it
- Allow for exceptions but clarify them
It is important to move beyond the do’s and don’ts and not feel that your family is living in a finite box. Using a structured environment, you can open up opportunities to nurture your child. For example, when dealing with correction, a parent can start with 4 positive characteristics to 1 constructive criticism. Children thrive when they know some of their strengths so it is important to talk about those positive attributes while working on their character.
One of the challenges of parenting is having a plan ahead of time. What is the expectation? What are the consequences? When it isn’t decided ahead of time, we get caught off-guard and tend to make punishments that are a product of our frustration. Translate LOVE into thoughtful action by being intentional with structure and limits. As our children grow and change, these will also. So continue to be a coach and a student of your child!