Even in the best of marriages, there are issues. After the flowers have faded and dating is done, the habits that were once adorable, now seem rather irritating. The spontaneous, free-spirit we were attracted to has become unorganized and distracted. The strong leader has become demanding. The organized planner is inflexible, and the gentle soul ceases to have an opinion. Who changed? He? She?
Why do we struggle when everything seemed just fine once upon a time? We often forget that when we come into our marriage, we bring more than ourselves. We each have different personalities, and when we pack up our life and bring it to our new family home, we also bring suitcases full of personal history (good & bad) and different styles of parenting, conflict resolution, crisis management, selfishness. “Our baggage.” What can we do as a person, partner, and parent?
As a Person
- Be intentional as you work on your character. You can’t change him, but you can change your response to him.
- Get a mentor or help from a counselor. Sometimes we need someone outside our shoes to look inside our heart.
As a Partner
- Focus on the problems that are resolvable
- Choose to make daily positive exchanges complimenting the good
- Choose to make fewer negative comments
- Think & Do – “What did we do when we were dating?”
As a Parent
- Have management meetings
- Go on weekly dates
- Choose to be a team as you parent
- Get financial help if you cannot handle it
- Confront your issues with a counselor
- Have meals together
- Pray together
We get frustrated with our spouse when we put our hope in him . . . instead of God.  God can redeem your situation. Put your HOPE in the Lord, and get help from people.