They say that 95% of parenting is heating food up for kids, then blowing on it so the kids can eat it. That feels pretty accurate, doesn’t it?
Parenting is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, highs and lows. One step forward, two steps back. Coming out of the pandemic, we’ve had lots of detours and rerouting. Being a parent has opened our eyes to a whole different sense of adventure!
54 years ago, I was excited about becoming a husband! Joyce and I were young. We were joined in ministry, and the early years were exciting! Once children came along, it became a very different adventure. As a couple, we were able to nourish each other. When we became parents, we gave to the needy – our children. And after spending all that time nurturing your child, you release them just when they become nice to live with! For us, it was important in the parent adventure to talk together, stay together, and get on our knees, in order to be good parents.
Let us be an encouragement to you as you navigate this parent adventure! Not because we did it perfectly, but rather, learn from our experience – mistakes and all.
TRAVEL GUIDE
Parenting is overwhelming at times, and we need a guide to point us in the right direction.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
Proverbs 3:5-6 [NIV]
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
Proverbs 3:5-6 [The Message]
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Listen for God’s voice. I love that phrase in The Message translation of this Bible verse. I realize that I don’t stop to listen for God enough. We are good at telling God where we want to go, but do we take the time to listen for His navigation? When I am driving to a new destination, I type in the address on my phone. Then I have to LISTEN for Siri to give me directions turn by turn. Do I listen for God in the same way?
Between Eden and Heaven is our home. How does your home reflect Garden and eternal principles when heading toward Heaven? It won’t be perfect. It wasn’t in my home. No matter what we do, we cannot recapture Eden, however, we can prepare for Heaven. In the beginning, God the Father had two children in a perfect home. He gave them all kids of YES’s and just one NO. Without any bad parenting, all on their own, those children went for the one NO. I hope that helps you gain some perspective on your own journey. Even when God had the perfect environment and perfect provisions, his kids still had free choice, screwed up, and went for the one NO. So we are still working on the impact of that as well as our own choices. While we cannot recapture Eden, in our own home we can prepare a desire for Heaven. We can raise children in our home where they have an awareness and hunger for Heaven. This is the REAL JOURNEY.
How far are you into your adventure?
- Pregnancy is the preparation for the parenting career when choices are made to nurture the growing baby in the womb.
- Birthing is a form of release to constant, conscious choices of sacrificial love.
- Preschool is an intense and physically exhausting time of nurturing and teaching.
- Elementary years start to shift to coaching and coming along side our child.
- Preteens act like teens, but they are still children; parents are coaching, training, and slowly releasing as independence is blossoming.
- Teens are about moving toward independence as parents keep coaching, mentoring, and connecting.
- Young Adults are in identity development as they transition from teen to adult.
- Adulthood – you have arrived! Parents no longer command or control, but continue to care. Family connections need maintenance, but hopefully it is out of mutual respect and support.
ROAD CONDITIONS
Parenting has the interesting effect of beaming a flashlight on some of our own personal issues. Our marriages also take a turn when we transition from a married couple to a married couple with children. Our hearts also go out to the parents of children with special needs. Many times the issues do not show up for several years, and the daily challenges with children with physical or learning disabilities are especially draining and lonely.
DETOURS AROUND ROADBLOCKS
What do we do when faced with a roadblock? Find a new path! We have our parenting roadmap and know which direction to head, but we still need a plan to get from here to there. Dad and Mom: Make some plans together. We do it for vacation trips. Why not for our parenting journey? Here is an opportunity to create a (new) vision for your family:
What are the characteristics we value? How do we do this well?
What are the issues we need to address? How can we do it better?
What is our ministry as a family? How can we do something to reflect that this year?
TRAVEL TIPS
Look in the rearview mirror, and then look through the windshield. Reflect on the path you have already taken thus far. It will have already included a lot of roadblocks and detours around an issue. Now look ahead at your destination and your long term goal. When you know the direction you are going, you can create a map. There may be times and days where you find yourself heading in the wrong direction. Turn around or get off the freeway of life using the off-ramps!