God’s agape love is our ultimate example of how to love. It is characterized as:
- Unconditional – nothing can separate us from His love
- Sacrificial – giving up a personal agenda for the sake of of others
- Initiating – doesn’t wait for the other to take the first step
When it comes to love, we must be intentional. Without a supernatural intervention, we will not rise above our natural experience from our family of origin. For us to imitate agape love to our spouse and children, we need heavenly help.
Passionate With Love
Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 [The Passion Translation]
Being passionate with love requires gentleness of heart. What are some practical ways to extend agape love in the different relationships we experience?
Personal Love. Realize that you are unconditionally and wholly loved by God. Accept that love and start to live in it from now on. Sacrificially postpone some of your needs and wants now for long range results later. Learn to say no so that you do not over schedule yourself. Initiate self-care by eating wisely, sleeping well, scheduling exercise, and doing something that feeds your soul.
Partner Love. Loving your spouse first begins with affirming your commitment. Model unconditional loving with agape love as you recognize how your children can benefit from your differences and get a broader picture of what love can look like. Sacrificial partner love is being aware of and responsive to your spouse’s needs. Choose to serve one another with your strengths as you initiate acts of love with one of the 5 Love Languages. Speak to the good that is done in and out of the home, and keep initiating dates and special times together as husband and wife. Your marriage is meant to outlast your life with kids.
Parenting Love. Parenting is daily (and even hourly) sacrifice starting from day one when you hear your newborn’s first cries. The unconditional love is born, and it has bonded you. Showing that agape love means responding, often when it is most inconvenient. For children, love is time, so it may be a sacrifice to read the extra 2 bedtime stories, do projects together, or learn about something new that excites their soul. Involve your children in loving deeds, so they, too, can learn how to love sacrificially. Keep initiating relationship with your children, especially when they become surly preteens or self-absorbed teens. Don’t wait until they perform to praise them. They need affirmation of who they are as children created in God’s image. Have one-on-one times with them so you can hear their hearts.
When God, who is love, is in control of caregivers, they will reflect His great command to love God totally and each other as themselves.