Parenting with goodness is being passionate about integrity. There has to be something more than, “Because Mom said so,” to direct our decisions. If that is the only basis for our decisions, what will we choose to do when Mom or Dad isn’t around?
What is the standard by which we measure our lives? As we walk through Galatians 5, we are going to look at goodness and how we can model a life full of virtue to our children using a biblical standard.
But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions . . . a life full of virtue . . .
Galatians 5:22-23 [The Passion Translation]
Training A Child Of Character In A Crazy World
What is goodness? When we think of someone who is good, some of the characteristics that come up are:
- Morally honorable
- Intrinsically good
- Doing the right thing
- Pleasing to God
- Beneficial to self/others
- Honesty of one’s actions
- Integrity
- Trustworthy
Training in goodness means teaching right from wrong and instilling a moral compass. We need to train values and use the mini moments in the day to talk about the “why” behind choices that may seem second nature to us. Why do we say thank you? Why do we give an older person our seat? Why do we not cheat on homework/tests? Why do we keep a promise? Why do we say sorry?
Passionate with Goodness
In Romans 7, Paul talks about the dilemma in his human nature. He has a desire to do good, but cannot carry it out.
For I know that nothing good lives within the flesh of my fallen humanity. The longings to do what is right are within me, but will-power is not enough to accomplish it.
Romans 7:18 [The Passion Translation]
Paul needs God (who is good) to help him to do good. Taking a cue from Paul, we need to work on our own character issues, FIRST, for authenticity and credibility to our family. Our personal habits, shows we watch, books/magazines we read, language we use, things we laugh at, way we drive, . . . are all great opportunities to show our character. How is that going? Being real about our mistakes or failures and asking for forgiveness helps to model the good intentions in our hearts, and it can keep us accountable for how we can move forward from now on.
How else do we teach goodness to our children? Here are some practical tips.
For the Littles:
- Teach right and wrong specifics
- Have realistic, age appropriate expectations of behaviors
- Keep in mind that your children are “people in process” (it will take many do-overs before they get it)
- Look for good character and praise it
- Confront bad behaviors but hold up hope for the future
- Have a family night/devotion time when you teach about character and integrity
- Read books of people with character
For Middles and Olders:
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect . . .
1 Peter 3:15
1 Peter is a great reminder on how we can teach our children the what’s and why’s of our belief system. For our older children, we need to walk through the basis for saying our yes and no.
- Teach moral absolutes.
- Have firm beliefs with a kind heart.
- Model and teach your child to avoid being judgmental.
- Be aware and discuss social media for issues your child confronts.
- Train your child to work hard and to do their best
- Ask questions so you know what they think
- Have resources – you don’t have to know all the answers.
When teaching goodness, the ultimate goal is that our children will value character more than fearing peers. We need to give them a firm foundation of understanding goodness and show them how to live it out.