Parent Adventure: Planning the Adventure

Joyce

Before planning any big trip or adventure, we need to create a plan (choose destination, pick a route, pack the bags, Go!). This is the same in the parenting adventure!  We need to create a plan for our children to reach their final destination.

PARENTHOOD ITINERARY

DEPARTURE
Birth

DESTINATION
Responsible Adulthood

ROUTE
Biblical Modeling

LUGGAGE
Bible Scripture, Prayer, Parenting Resources/Classes, Youth Groups, Schooling, Extra-Curricular Activities

What is our parenting road map for this journey? We can easily characterize the path through different landmarks or life stages. In each life stage, there are elements that we as parents can focus on.

  • Infant (Parents: Provide physical care and nurturing)
  • Preschool (Parents: Model & mentor, give commands & consequences)
  • Elementary (Parents: Continue to build on preschool training and teach communication, competence, character development)
  • Pre-Adolescence, 9-11 yrs (Parents: Help prep for adolescence, answer questions. Child: physical changes begin)
  • Early Adolescence, 11-14 yrs (Parents: Build on previous years, begin releasing to responsibility. Child: Enters puberty, searches for identity, emotionally volatile.)
  • Mid-Adolescence, 14-18 yrs (Parents: Still releasing to responsibility. Child: Peer influence, egocentric & self-absorbed, experimenting. )
  • Late Adolescence / Emerging Adulthood, 18-25 yrs (Parent: Appropriate release to full responsibility. Child: Making moral decisions, start financial responsibility.)

What are some of the travel challenges we face on the parenting journey? EXHAUSTION! Who isn’t tired these days? We either lack sleep or burn the candle at both ends. It always feels like there is a sink full of dishes, dirty laundry, and not enough time. Marriages also take a back seat due to the immediate needs of children. If we aren’t careful, what may feel like a sensible divide-and-conquer parenting plan may turn into two adults running on different highways going in opposite directions. We need to be mindful of these roadblocks to make sure we don’t hit a dead end.

What are the best detours around parenting roadblocks?

  1. Travel as a TEAM. Schedule family planning sessions or management meetings with your spouse to discuss weekly commitments, long term goals, financial planning, holidays, vacations, birthdays. Make a plan and utilize your calendar to follow through. As your children get older, help them with their plans (planning out their daily/weekly schedule, spend-save-give strategies, managing technology, driving, college . . .)
  2. Take time. We live in an age with a lot of hurry-up‘s, we’re-late‘s, and there’s-not-enough-time‘s. Sometimes we rush out of habit. We need to take the time to make time. Omit one or two things from the day or week to give yourself more breathing room. Create some quiet time for your family to refuel before you jump into the next thing.
  3. Don’t compare or judge. Everyone is on a different journey. When we compare, we create more more internal noise in our own life with worry, disappointment, and jealousy. Instead, “since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the [road] marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” [Hebrews 12:1-2] Don’t let comparison steal your JOY.

The Parent Adventure is full of opportunities and new paths.  In each life stage, as we train our children, the Lord has amazing things to teach us, as parents, as he refines our character.

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