The holidays are here and so is gift giving. It is a joy to give presents and to see the beautiful smile on the face of the receiver. However, nothing sours the holidays like an ungrateful child. One of the biggest challenges for parents today is dealing with the issue of entitlement. I want . . . Everyone has . . . How do we discourage entitlement? What do we do with wish lists? How do we teach that materialism doesn’t satisfy the soul?
Cultivating an attitude of gratitude improves our emotional health. We experience joy when we give and receive with genuine thankfulness. We strengthen relationships and communities as we interact with family and friends. Expressing gratitude can also inspire and transform the people around us – our coworkers, neighbors, community members. In fact, it might even be contagious!
As parents, we may have already tripped-up a bit and are seeing the entitlement-monster beginning to grow in our child. We inadvertently became the Rescuer – Enabler – Indulger because we wanted to “make Johnny happy.” With our good intentions of being attentive parents, we made Johnny’s happiness the center of the universe. Fortunately, we have a detour for this parenting roadblock.
Tips that would help cultivate gratitude in our home:
- Model it! Say “thank you” and “I appreciate it when . . .” to your spouse and children. Be extra courteous to the grocery clerk and waitress. Drive like you want your 16-year-old teenager to drive. It is easy to take the little things for granted, but don’t let the little things get overlooked in the busyness of the of the day. Transformations begins with changing ourselves, first.
- Presents are great, but presence is better! Invest in people, relationships, and activities to do together. These help create memories that will last longer than the toys and electronics that become irrelevant in a year.
- Use money to teach generosity. Get your children in the habit of tithing or giving to a charity/mission, regularly. With your child’s allowance, help him focus on what he can give his brother/sister.
- Have your child work toward goals. Things are appreciated more when they are earned. The video game is more valuable when you had to save for it. The bike is cared for if it was bought with lawn-mowing money. When things come too easy, they are valued less.
- Give responsibilities as you give freedoms. Freedoms (later bed time, new cell phone, car keys . . .) are wonderful when they work in tandem with responsibilities. When there are few chores, no schedules, no rules, selfishness and entitlement can develop.
- Teach wants vs. needs. Getting in the habit of evaluating our needs versus our wants can help train us make more fiscally wise decisions.
An attitude of gratitude reminds us to be thankful for our daily bread (Matthew 6:11). Be grateful for our daily needs and supplies: mom/dad’s job, good health, meals, clothes, working car, . . .
What are you grateful for today?