Manners affect our child’s success and respect. How we interact with others is indicative of how we value other people. Manners help us to take the lens off the, “I need . . . I want . . . I deserve . . . ,” and refocus on who might be around us.
Each of you should not look only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:4 [NIV]
Our children are special to us, but not to everyone else! That being said, manners are important because it shows consideration to others (not jumping on grandma’s couch, offering your seat on the bus to a pregnant woman or elderly person, holding the door open for someone, etc.). Manners give us the freedom to enjoy our children without the worry that they will break Great-Aunt Mary’s furniture, and others will find our children pleasant to be around. If we equip our children, they will know how to handle themselves in various social settings.
Home Decorating Tips
How do we decorate our home with manners? One of the best ways to teach it is to talk about manners daily as situations arise. Praise when your child does right and use his interests to motivate the learning process. Be consistent, but avoid constant criticism/correction. For example, have an occasional, designated “manners meal” so that every meal is not a nag session.
What are some of the basics when it comes to teaching manners to children?
- Saying please, thank you, you’re welcome, excuse me, sorry
- Look people in the eye
- Answer politely when spoken to
- Use titles for adults: Mr., Mrs., Uncle, Aunt
- Help with clean-up
As they get older, children can practice:
- Holding doors open for others
- Introducing themselves
- Learning the names of acquaintances (gardener, bus driver, . . . )
- Including all children in play
- Organizing their own belongings at another’s house
- Thanking the host after a play date or overnight
- Standing up when greeting someone
- Giving up your chair for an adult
- Saying, “Excuse me,” and wait when you need to say something while a parent is talking with someone else
- Keeping all four chair legs on the floor
Here are some mealtime tips to help with a manners meal:
- Sit up straight
- Put napkin on lap
- Say a prayer of thanks before eating
- Pass food around rather than reaching across the table
- Take small portions to start
- Chew with your mouth closed
- Don’t talk with food in your mouth
- Take small bites, eat slowly
- Swallow food before taking a drink
- Keep elbows off the table
- Do not say, “I don’t like that”
- Say “Thank you” and “Excuse me” at the end of a meal
A Word About Technology
Manners cannot be mentioned without addressing technology. Times have changed since the last generation, and technology is literally in our pockets all of the time. So, it is important to determine how to navigate technology while maintaining respectful interaction with the “live” people around us. Of course, as the adults, we need to teach and MODEL how to manage technology instead of letting technology manage us. Not every ping / tweet / post is a call to answer.
Our Technology Management Tips:
- Interact with people who are present
- Avoid using the phone while walking
- Put phones away during mealtimes
- Consider an electronic curfew
- Ask: Is it urgent? Important? Can it wait?
Let’s not miss out on the people and happenings in our presence because we are overly focused on our screens.