Home: Growing Fruit in our Garden

Gardening is hard work. It takes time to prepare the soil and pull the weeds. Seeds can take weeks to grow and sprout their first leaves. Roots need time to stretch and strengthen to give a good foundation. And it isn’t a one-time job. You have to maintain the garden by continually watering, fertilizing, and weeding. Eventually, after all the nurturing, the flowers will bloom, the vegetables will ripen, and the fruit will grow!

The same is with our homes and the “family” garden when we are growing character and harvesting the fruit of the spirit. First, we need to start with some good soil – a teachable spirit. Next, we can start planting our seeds from Galatians 5:22-23: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control. These seeds need to be nurtured with water and sunlight continually, just as we need to keep practicing patience in potty-training, faithfulness in studying scripture, love to our spouse, gentleness in speech, and joy at work . . . on a DAILY (even hourly!) basis. Teaching our children character requires us to change ours. Of course there are set-backs; these are the weeds in our garden. Some of the ugly weeds that show up can be bad attitudes and responses, repeating negative behaviors, and defending flaws when pointed out. If we let these weeds over take our seeds, bad habits get reinforced, and we become more impatient and judgmental.

How do we protect the new seeds of Love, Joy, Peace . . .? Strive to grow more connected with our Creator, spouse, and children. Here are a few tools for this project:

  • Taking ownership for actions and asking for forgiveness when doing something wrong
  • Make appropriate fences (boundaries) that protect
  • Create supports and guides that give the freedom to grow
  • Focus on character issues
  • Ask questions
  • Avoid lecturing, nagging
  • Avoid engaging in the back & forth arguing
  • Don’t be too quick to rescue, but allow some of the consequences of life lessons

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
  or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
  and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
  which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither
  whatever they do prospers.

Psalm 1:1-3 [NIV]

Home projects for the month

  • What is the character quality your child learns from you?
  • What is the character quality you are working on?
  • What tip can you use to work on your child’s character?
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