In our Surviving and Thriving series, we are embracing these words from Isaiah 40:29-31:
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
There is never a time when moms and dads don’t feel weary and tired. If we aren’t physically exhausted or sleep-deprived from managing young children, we are emotionally drained from a strong-willed preteen. Work life steals one-third of our day, then we rush home to our family life as mom and dad with dinner preparations, soccer practice, homework, bath time, and trying to make some sort of personal connection with each kid (and hopefully, it is a positive one!). We feel over-committed and preoccupied, but the worst part is that we feel we can’t do anything well.
Lowered Expectations
Our high expectations of ourselves sabotage our freedom to survive and thrive in a busy, messy life. From Pinterest birthday parties and HGTV home makeovers, the stylized life we see through media warps our reality. We unknowingly have a bunch of time-robbing “shoulds” in our life that create disappointment and defeat. Instead of listening to our Creator, we beat ourselves up over unrealistic creations and expectations. So, let’s shift the high-expectations-bar to a reality-meter for our busy life.
Survival Skills
Before you begin a task, ask yourself: How important is this? Does it need to be done right away? We face a constant tension of the Tyranny of the Urgent where urgent often wins over important. The urgent things in front of us (exploded diaper, spilled milk, driving to school, swim lessons, laundry, cooking dinner, work deadlines, PTA meetings, soccer tournament, paying bills, replying to an email) need to get done. They have a deadline or need to be finished quickly. These get prioritized above what is important (praying together, time with your spouse, one-on-one time with each child, working together, building relationships with others, taking care of your health). Sometimes the urgent and important are the same thing; other times they pull you in opposite directions. There is no right or wrong answer, only what is a good answer for this moment in time.
Thriving Moments
Create thriving moments by planning out your priorities. Simplify some tasks and train your kids to help the family team. Picking up toys, washing dishes, doing laundry, pet care, and packing lunches are all great jobs that benefit the entire family. The holiday season is also a great time to think about decluttering and blessing others with toy and clothes donations. When we can plan out some of our daily tasks, we free up more time for thriving moments with our spouse and children.
The goal here isn’t perfection, but to be perfected by God through our challenges and come out of it with more humility, grace, and love.