Dear Joyce,
I am struggling with insecurity. Since the birth of my third child, my body is a wreck, and I feel so unattractive. HELP!!!
– Macey
Dear Macey,
When we had our babies in the ’70’s, it seemed to be okay for mothers to look like a mother. We were not expected to be in skinny jeans right after birthing. Our bodies are designed to support nursing and mothering. You will not find me complimenting new moms with, “You look so good,” because they are back in their size 4 clothes. “You look good,” needs to fit where you are . . . taking care of yourself, eating well, and resting as much as you can!
I was reading in The Huffington Post, Mothers’ Real Bodies, in response to the Photography in A Beautiful Body Book Project by Jade Beall.
“We are facing an epidemic of women who feel unworthy of being called beautiful,” Beall told HuffPost, describing a world in which “nearly all of us struggle to feel beautiful in our own skin.” And the expectations faced by women who have given birth are particularly harsh. “Shaming mothers for not ‘bouncing back’ after childbirth can cause feelings of failure when being a mother is challenging enough and when a big number of us have already lived a life of feeling un-beautiful prior to giving birth,” she says.
I loved how Princess Kate came out one day after the birth to Prince George, looking radiant, proudly holding her baby boy on a tummy that had just given birth. That was a great role model! Fast forward to turning 40, 50, and then 60. Insecurities about how we look can go on as we experience mid-life changes, and then the life changes that come uninvited in the aging years. It is important to accept where we are and to live life in each stage in the best way possible. Accepting how I look and the challenges I face is not always easy! It is causing me to rely on my “inner beauty” rather than the external . . . a great motivation to grow in character since that is all I can control. I want my grandchildren to see that my security does not come from how I look, but rather from who I am and from the God who created me!
Love, Joyce