A lifelong marriage doesn’t just happen. It is a continual process of saying,
- I did – – your vows on the day of your wedding
- I do – – what I can do today
- I will do – – how I can grow for tomorrow
There is a difference between being functional in a marriage and investing in your marriage. There are many days where we are so busy putting out the fires of today, we forget that we need to also have a vision for the long term. So what are some of the principle ingredients for a lifelong marriage?
- BUILDING INTIMACY – Realize that building intimacy day by day takes time. We need to learn to listen to our spouse’s thoughts and feelings without judgement. Intimate listening requires not just our ears, but also our heart and mind. When a spouse dreams, we have to be careful not to “squash the dream” and cut off communication. Take the time to listen and get to the heart of your spouse.
- MAINTAINING PASSION – When you were first dating, it was easy to attend air shows, concerts, ballets, football games . . . not because you enjoyed the events, but because you enjoyed the company. With that same mind-set, continue to have a passion for what your partner cares about. Likewise, invest in physical passion and intimacy with your spouse without the expectation of mutual enjoyment every time.
- LIVING YOUR COMMITMENT – We can reaffirm our vows everyday when we bring the attitude, “I am so glad I married you!” After years of marriage, it is too easy to pick apart everything that is wrong. Avoid going down the path of using the death words: If this happens again, I’m out of here! I don’t know why I married you in the first place! I don’t know how much more of this I can take! Do you want a divorce?? Rather, we should focus on apologizing when we hurt with our words and forgiving when we’ve been hurt.
Commitment is the foundation of your marriage. Intimacy is the doorway to passion. Marriage is an opportunity to look at yourself and work on how you can be a better spouse. We can’t fix our partner, but we can change ourselves. Be intentional in spending time with one another on weekly dates. The investment of loving your spouse will bring a dividend of a lifelong marriage!