Goodness and kindness are two of the Fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5:22-23) that tend to be hard to pin down specifically. Â To be kind is to be good. Â To do good is kind. Â Here are some helpful thoughts that may help you differentiate goodness and kindness and apply them to your family and community.
Goodness (Focusing on the moral aspect):
- Morally honorable (people of integrity)
- Intrinsically good
- Pleasing to God
- Beneficial to self and others
Kindness (Focusing on behaviors):
- Being humane and courteous
- Having good manners
- Doing actions and deeds
In Romans 7:18, Paul says, “For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.   For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”  We are faced with a human dilemma when we want to do good, but our sinful nature prevents us from carrying it out.  This is why we need God (who is good) in us to help us do good.
Tips for Yourself
Be authentic.  Work on your own character issues first before you start helping others with theirs.  Refer back to the Fruit of the Spirit and examine where you can bring out more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Acknowledge your own short-comings and failures and ask for forgiveness.  Listen to your own tone and volume when you speak.  (You may even want to record yourself one evening!)  Our tone can often carry more intensity than our words.
Tips for Your Marriage
Look for the good in your spouse and affirm your husband. Â Praise your wife for the character qualities she shows. Â Be careful to confront your spouse over issues of character, not just personality differences. Â We can’t fix what happened 5 minutes ago (or 5 years ago), but we CAN move towards a resolution. Â Show respect for your spouse and serve him when he needs help.
Tips for Your Parenting
Have realistic, age-appropriate expectations of behaviors. Â Remember that your children are people in progress, so know when to extend them grace. Â Look for the good character qualities in your daughter and praise your son. Â At the same time, confront the bad behaviors while upholding hope for the future (“Next time, you will make a better choice.”) Â Feed your family spiritual food with family night or devotion time where you can talk about character and integrity. Â Engage your family in kindness to others needed your help.
John 15:5 says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  Apart from Jesus, we can do nothing. Continue to invite Jesus in so that He can do the changing in your own life.  The more we cling and glean from Him, the more goodness and kindness we have to extend to others.