Bonding is about investing in relationships that last.
When we build bonds at home, the desire is for your child to know where she belongs, know who is there for her, and know she can come to you at any time. How do we make this happen? We need to initiate. God provides a great example for us in the Garden of Eden. In Genesis 3, after Eve and Adam ate from the Tree of Knowledge of good & evil, God asked, “Where are you?” Even though God knew that they ate the forbidden fruit, He initiated the relationship. Likewise, we need to initiate the relationships with our children.
To build family bonds, invest in making connection deposits. Some examples for the different stages are listed below.
PREGNANCY
- Praying for your unborn child
- Reading, preparing, nesting
- Singing and talking to your child
INFANCY
- Responding to needs consistently
- Holding, rocking, touching, hugging
- Interacting together
PRESCHOOL
- Playing, singing, talking, walking
- Night-time rituals, Family Night
- Reading together
- Praying together
- Taking them to church, library, park, zoo
ELEMENTARY
- Holding, hugging, talking, listening
- Playing games, puzzles
- Night-time rituals
- Meals together, Family Night
- One-on-One dates
- Coaching them through schoolwork, projects, sports, lessons, activities
PRE-TEEN & TEEN
- Asking questions more than lecturing
- Listening, listening, listening
- Staying in communication
- Going to their events & getting to know their friends
- Showing flexibility with schedules
- Scheduling family times
- Continuing traditions, vacations
This isn’t an extensive list, but it is a launching point for you to reflect upon what you can do now and what you can add. As you can see, the list gets longer as kids get older. The needs are also different. When kids are younger, they more of your physical presence. In the teen years, they need your presence and your flexibility so they have the opportunity to communicate their own thoughts and ideas. Take some time to think about what stage your children are experiencing and how you can build some new bonds and reconnect some severed ones. As your child grows, parenting becomes less physically demanding and more emotionally demanding . . . but your love is always unconditional.