Let’s start off by first saying, “YOU are amazing!” You were perfectly created in God’s image, and you are his masterpiece. God will equip you with what you need when you feel busy and overwhelmed. And where you feel lack, He will not leave you empty-handed.
Life, however, gets B-U-S-Y, and the backpack of burdens gets heavier. The hidden weight many moms carry is a mental load of endless to-do lists, meals and activities, guilt for not doing enough, comparison pressure, no time for herself…all of this. But when you ask her, “How are you doing,” the typical response is, “I’m fine.”
Taking care of children is a full-time job. And if you are working 40-hours a week, Monday through Friday, you come home to the 2nd shift: school pick-ups, sports practices, extra-curricular classes, grocery shopping, making meals, laundry, bath time, bills. REPEAT. Parents can regularly navigate work deadlines, academic trajectories, athletic coaching, and artistic endeavors with clear direction, yet building intentional relationships with their children and spouse amid a busy schedule can feel more haphazard depending on the models you may or may not have had in your origin family. However it looks, the reality is that we all need help.
THRIVE
Parenting involves constantly adjusting to new stages and chapters in home life. When busy, we have to be intentional to grab the moments when we can. Time alone and time with your spouse are rare and precious. How do we be intentional about connecting with the people who matter the most? What does it take to thrive?
Identify
Prioritize
Schedule
Focus on who you are called to be and what you are called to do in the moment. This can change with each season of growth. Identify the people you want to invest in. Prioritize the people who are in your inner circle versus your outer circle of relationships. Schedule it! Evaluate what you need to cut out of your calendar and what you can schedule in.
Intentionality is not about being a perfect parent. In fact, we will likely fail more often than we succeed. However, being intentional about living your priorities can be about using the repair space of connecting with honesty, forgiveness, and grace.
WHEN KIDS ARE BUSY
In the midst of BUSY, don’t be too busy to connect with your kids and spouse. A strong connection requires QUALITY and QUANTITY time. What are some ways to create more connection time with your inner circle?
When they are young…
- Eat meals together
- Play games
- Sing together
- Read to your children
- Bedtime routines
- When your children are young, put them to bed 30 minutes earlier to have time with your spouse
When they are school-aged….
- Communicate when you come and go
- Have one-on-one time with each child
- Plan and go on family trips
- Family nights
- Pray for them
When they are teens & emerging adults…
- Talk on car rides
- Meet needs as they come up
- Work together
- Pray together
- Adult children need more encouragement, not all the little corrections
Driving kids from place A to B is a significant part of a busy parent’s life, often consuming hours each week for school and activities. When you view time in the car as opportunity for building connection, you’ll embrace it more instead of fussing about it. Soon they will drive themselves.
LIVE YOUR PRIORITIES
Now as a grandparent, people will often say to me [Joyce], “You’re so lucky you are close with your grandchildren!” Actually, I’m not lucky; I’m tired. I put each of my grandchildren on my schedule. Weekend Nana-Bapa nights when grandkids come to sleep over so their parents can have a date-night. Soccer games, horse competitions, choir shows. Monthly family birthday dinners. Music lessons in-person and over FaceTime. Holiday boxes and Christmas stockings. Our annual Disneyland weekend tradition. As a grandparent, I can pick and choose – I don’t attend everything. But it is that intentional time that built connection.
If it is on your heart, it needs to be on your schedule.