I had no clue when I got pregnant with my first child how much would be involved when being a mother. There have been a lot of joys and a lot of tears, but I would not trade it for anything. Parenthood is about being faithful – YEARS of faithfulness to the very end with the vision of raising a mature adult. Our investment in our children is about staying committed to the long haul with each child, raising them to be independent of us, interdependent with others, and dependent on God to impact the next generation.
Last summer in Quadra, I spent some time reading my parents’ account of their lives. There was a lot of faithfulness that spanned their lives from the early 1900s through the next 100 years. They lived through World War I, the Spanish flu (1917-1918), the Great Depression, World War II. Their days were hard, but the years passed by quickly. They described these difficult times in a sentence, but the investment they made in their lives and mine and my sisters’ lives have impacted the generations after them. It reminded me that our daily acts of faithfulness have the power to make an impression on the future generations. This vision is echoed in Psalm 78:
We will not hide them from their descendants;
Psalm 78:4-7
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
his power, and the wonders he has done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our ancestors
to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.
Our stories are not pictures of perfection, but rather they are stories of faithfulness. We did not always get it right, but out of our mistakes birthed wisdom.
In the summer of 2019, my cousin, Joanne, told me that she was going on a tour of the Silk Road that follows the Mennonite migration story from Russia to Central Asia in the late 1800s through memories of Elizabeth Unruh Schultz (1866-1943), my great-grandmother. Elizabeth lived in Russia, close to the Polish border. In the 1700s, Catherine the Great, Czarina of Russia, asked the Mennonites to migrate to Russia to help build up her country. In the 1870s there was political unrest, and the family did a trek to inland Asia to the Himalaya Mountains to escape the Great Tribulation. When Elizabeth was eight, she, along with 80 families, set out in 125 covered wagons. No one was immunized, so at one place they left 80 graves. The wagons crossed rivers, traveled through a desert, waited months for immigration papers; they lived in constant fear. My great-grandparents, along with 23 families decided to go back to Russia and on to America. Elizabeth was now 18 years old. They went from Nebraska to South Dakota and on to Saskatchewan. After two years there, her beloved husband died at age 37 of pneumonia. Tears, worry, and fear were recurrent, but there was always a vision for the long term, and she journaled it in her book. Elizabeth now has thousands of descendants who were impacted by her faithfulness. On to 2019, little did she know that a tour company would take her writings and do a tour of the Mennonite trek of the 1800s.
When I think of my great-grandmother, my grandmother Anna Schultz (1888-1971), and my mother Amanda Edith Schultz Rempel (1913-2010), I am inspired with the vision of the influence of one mother’s faithfulness. Imperfect, but faithful.
Well, I have had an eventful life; often had very interesting and wonderful experiences. Even though in my married life and as a widow, I did not have much to spare; thank God we never went hungry, even with my large family. We always had enough clothes, had a home, ¦always had enough wood for fuel. We had God’s Word, which was a daily source of strength and comfort, and a light and a guide on our pathway to daily show us how we ought to live for Him. Though poor, we were rich… Now there is one more important point to overcome then my joy will be complete, to endure to the end, to obtain my eternal reward. Now I will quit for the time being, and sign myself, Mother Elizabeth Schultz.
From the Journals of Elizabeth Unruh Schultz (1866-1943)
MAKING DEPOSITS
The focus of investment is on character, spiritual development, and skill training. As parents we have the long term task of teaching our children to be more independent of us and more dependent on Christ. Much of this begins with rewarding their responsibility with a freedom as they grow and mature from zero responsibility (birth) to full responsibility (adulthood). As they successfully take on more responsibilities, add freedoms accordingly. During this maturity process, focus on character qualities knowing that each child is unique, and as such, should be treated uniquely. What motivated Marci was very different from what motivated Maria and Michelle. Missteps will happen, so being clear on commands, expectations, consequences, and follow through are essential to drive the lesson home. What are the gaps that you are seeing? What are the things that need to be addressed? What things are OK to ignore? (Major on the majors especially during COVID quarantine.) Equip your child with tools that will help him be a good roommate/employee/boss/spouse. In this parenting journey, the big picture parent-child relationship is most important. Allow for failures, be flexible, and show love. Your children will remember your heart.
INVESTMENT TIPS
Make stewardship a way of life. Good stewardship is using what does not last long to bring about what lasts longer. Invest for the longer haul and be guided by the love of God and His values.
Each child will mature at different time, and she will make her own choices. Some will have to go through hard times before they get that lightbulb moment. Be faithful to the task in front of you, “. . . and when he is old, he will not depart from [your training].” (Proverbs 22:6)