{"id":363,"date":"2013-01-30T09:00:33","date_gmt":"2013-01-30T17:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/?p=363"},"modified":"2022-07-28T16:40:07","modified_gmt":"2022-07-28T23:40:07","slug":"dear-joyce-why-do-they-keep-disobeying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/dear-joyce-why-do-they-keep-disobeying\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Joyce . . . Why do they keep disobeying?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">Dear Joyce,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have three children, and it seems like I am always repeating myself. They keep disobeying me, and the older they get, the more out of control our lives seem to be. What punishment should I give them so they stop disobeying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sabrina<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Dear Sabrina,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Discipline is a training process that involves setting boundaries and enforcing the <\/em><em>boundaries with the ultimate goal of your child having self-discipline. Your children <\/em><em>may think of boundaries as confining, but in reality, boundaries can be liberating. <\/em><em>Boundaries are fences. Commands are rules as to how we live inside the fence. When <\/em><em>the fences are clearly established and enforced, family life is more enjoyable. When <\/em><em>you set appropriate boundaries, you and your children can focus your energy and <\/em><em>attention on moving forward. Moms who hope that their children will just start obeying <\/em><em>end up constantly repeating themselves and micromanaging family life. Punishment <\/em><em>i.e. having consequences for bad behavior, is a part of the discipline package but will be <\/em><em>ineffective unless the other components are utilized:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong> TEACHING <\/strong>is setting the standard and letting your child know, &#8220;<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">What am I supposed to do?<\/span>&#8221;\u00a0Teaching is most effective when you model the behavior you are teaching.<\/li><li><strong>REBUKING<\/strong><em> <\/em>or reproving is identifying their behavior that is different from the standard, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;What did I do?<\/span>&#8221; Because of the busyness of life, we typically do the rebuking and do not take time to teach clearly or move through the final two steps.<\/li><li><strong>CORRECTING<\/strong><em> <\/em>is fixing the wrong. <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;How can I make it right?<\/span>&#8221;\u00a0 Teach your child to own their action and to see the impact on themselves and others. Don&#8217;t accept excuses and after the behavior is identified, your child needs to make things right.<\/li><li><strong>TRAINING IN RIGHTEOUSNESS<\/strong>, or &#8220;What can I do from now on?&#8221;\u00a0Think <strong>coach <\/strong>and teach new plays. As a <strong>personal trainer<\/strong>, give them opportunities to practice and praise and encourage when they do it right.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><em>For example, if your child asks for a cookie and you clearly say, &#8220;You may have one.&#8221;\u00a0H<\/em><em>owever, they keep begging to have more than one . . .<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><em> Teach: <\/em><em>You may always ask once and once I give my answer, do not keep <\/em><em>begging.<\/em><\/li><li><em>Reprove: You have asked three times!<\/em><\/li><li><em>Correction: Now you get nothing &#8211; zero cookies!<\/em><\/li><li><em>Train: <\/em><em>What can you do next time?<\/em><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Training is not a lecture, or a one time lesson. Learning new habits generally takes at least <\/em><em>3 weeks. Commit yourself to deal with the bad behavior and don&#8217;t quit. Be gracious to <\/em><em>yourself and your child while you are in the learning curve.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Love, Joyce<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Joyce, I have three children, and it seems like I am always repeating myself. They keep disobeying me, and the older they get, the more out of control our lives seem to be. What punishment should I give them so they stop disobeying? Sabrina Dear Sabrina, Discipline is a training process that involves setting boundaries and enforcing the boundaries with the ultimate goal of your child having self-discipline. Your&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":368,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,30,16,6,34,29,10],"tags":[83,86,55,85,54,84,87],"class_list":["post-363","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-daughters","category-dear-joyce","category-fathers","category-mothers","category-parenting-2","category-preschool","category-sons","tag-boundaries","tag-correct","tag-discipline","tag-rebuke","tag-self-control","tag-teach","tag-train"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dear Joyce . . . 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