{"id":290,"date":"2012-07-02T14:29:08","date_gmt":"2012-07-02T21:29:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/?p=290"},"modified":"2012-10-15T14:01:53","modified_gmt":"2012-10-15T21:01:53","slug":"dear-joyce-im-overwhelmed-out-numbered-help-i-dont-like-being-a-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/dear-joyce-im-overwhelmed-out-numbered-help-i-dont-like-being-a-mom\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Joyce . . . I’m overwhelmed & out-numbered. Help! I don’t like being a mom!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Adrea<\/a><\/p>\n

Dear Joyce,<\/p>\n

I was hoping you could help me with something.\u00c2\u00a0 Is it normal for me to REALLY dislike being a mom?\u00c2\u00a0 I would say for the last month I have found joy difficult when it came to mothering.\u00c2\u00a0 I do not have a job and rarely get quiet time.\u00c2\u00a0 Usually I handle it a lot better, but lately I even have resentment towards my kids.\u00c2\u00a0 I know this is horrible, but it is true.\u00c2\u00a0 I feel robbed from having the life I wanted.\u00c2\u00a0 My 3 kids are very rambunctious and full of energy.\u00c2\u00a0 They don’t like watching TV and have strong personalities.\u00c2\u00a0 Parks are even stressful.\u00c2\u00a0 I take them out to do a lot of stuff during the week.\u00c2\u00a0 Anyhow, do you have a CD\/book you could recommend?\u00c2\u00a0 Or do you feel I need to talk to a professional about this?\u00c2\u00a0 I do not have any thought or desire to hurt them or myself, but I do want to run away!<\/p>\n

Thanks so much for your help and advice, Carly<\/p>\n

<\/strong>Dear Carly,\u00c2\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

You are NOT alone in feeling this way . . . some others just may not admit it.\u00c2\u00a0 First of all,\u00c2\u00a0 know that you DO have a job,\u00c2\u00a0 you may just not be getting \u00e2\u20ac\u0153paid.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 Try to focus on the long term of what you are doing – you are impacting generations with your faithfulness – your character and your choices.\u00c2\u00a0 Your children are still young, and if you are simply \u00e2\u20ac\u0153getting through each day\u00e2\u20ac\u009d you will feel like you are merely existing.\u00c2\u00a0 In reality, moms have days when they barely survive.\u00c2\u00a0 That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s normal.\u00c2\u00a0 Because of the impact you are having on your children, try to focus on more than \u00e2\u20ac\u0153getting through the day.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 Whatever you rehearse, you get better at.\u00c2\u00a0 Instead of thinking, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What does this take from me?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d focus on, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What does this give to me?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

You wrote that your children have energy and have strong personalities.\u00c2\u00a0 That can be very positive and just needs to be channeled.\u00c2\u00a0 It is good that you take them out for activities.\u00c2\u00a0 Continue to do that so that they get to use up some of their energy.\u00c2\u00a0 It is good that they do not watch a lot of TV.\u00c2\u00a0 Watching a good family movie or TV show together can be fun, however, educators recommend that you limit TV\u00c2\u00a0 time for young children. <\/em><\/p>\n

Please take some time to get your personal needs met \u00e2\u20ac\u201c sleeping, eating good food.\u00c2\u00a0 Do you need to lighten your schedule?\u00c2\u00a0 Can you bring in a Mother\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s helper to play with your children once a week so you can have some time alone to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153refuel.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 A good nap,\u00c2\u00a0 reading a chapter of a book,\u00c2\u00a0 having an uninterrupted shower,\u00c2\u00a0 getting some exercise\u00c2\u00a0 can help you deal with your children in a better way.\u00c2\u00a0 I recommend taking time for reading the Bible and having short devotions to encourage your spirit.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Plan a date with your spouse each week so you can look forward to that time.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Schedule one on one time with each child \u00e2\u20ac\u201c you will see the beauty of each child rather than always dealing with them in a group.\u00c2\u00a0 Take time nightly to tuck in each child with a book and a prayer.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 See each stage as an opportunity to get connected with the children you birthed.<\/em><\/p>\n

I would suggest that you start a family night \u00e2\u20ac\u201c one evening a week that you and your husband play with your children.\u00c2\u00a0 Pick an activity that you and they enjoy and keep it simple.\u00c2\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

It is too late to decide whether you want to be a mom.\u00c2\u00a0 You ARE a mom with the responsibility to raise your children.\u00c2\u00a0 Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t quit.\u00c2\u00a0 The rewards of your faithfulness will come!!!!\u00c2\u00a0 Your Adventure started with birthing or adopting your children.\u00c2\u00a0 You have invested years into your children. You have already experienced joys and hurts as a mom.\u00c2\u00a0 You have learned a lot about yourself and continue to learn about your children.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Commit yourself to continue the course\u00c2\u00a0 and complete what you have started.\u00c2\u00a0 In the meantime, find daily joy in the journey.<\/em><\/p>\n

If you have a tendency in life to escape , rather you endure, you may want to look to a professional for help personally.\u00c2\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

You can embrace the Olympic motto: Swiftius, Altius, Fortius (Swifter, Higher, Stronger).\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 The adventure of being a Mother requires all of these aspects and to run the race to the end and complete our task of being a mom is the goal.\u00c2\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/strong>Love, Joyce<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Joyce, I was hoping you could help me with something.\u00c2\u00a0 Is it normal for me to REALLY dislike being a mom?\u00c2\u00a0 I would say for the last month I have found joy difficult when it came to mothering.\u00c2\u00a0 I do not have a job and rarely get quiet time.\u00c2\u00a0 Usually I handle it a lot better, but lately I even have resentment towards my kids.\u00c2\u00a0 I know this is… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":293,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,30,16,6,34,29,10],"tags":[64,65,63,22,66],"class_list":["post-290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-daughters","category-dear-joyce","category-fathers","category-mothers","category-parenting-2","category-preschool","category-sons","tag-date-night","tag-family-night","tag-mothers-helper","tag-parenting","tag-refuel"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Joyce . . . 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