{"id":288,"date":"2012-08-06T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-06T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/?p=288"},"modified":"2012-10-15T14:01:17","modified_gmt":"2012-10-15T21:01:17","slug":"dear-joyce-what-to-do-about-name-calling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/dear-joyce-what-to-do-about-name-calling\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Joyce, What to do about name-calling?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Adrea<\/a><\/p>\n

Dear Joyce,<\/p>\n

My 4 year old son, Daniel, was upset at me the other day and called me The Stepmom<\/em>.\u00c2\u00a0 I believe he was referring to Cinderella’s mean stepmom.\u00c2\u00a0 Then a few days later, he called me a witch<\/em>, when I asked him to do something he didn’t like (I was asking him to buckle in his car seat).\u00c2\u00a0 I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say other than, “Wait until your father hears about this!”\u00c2\u00a0 What type of consequence would you give for this?\u00c2\u00a0 It’s certainly a matter of the heart.<\/p>\n

Denise<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Denise,<\/em><\/p>\n

I would say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Daniel, you called me the stepmom.\u00c2\u00a0 (It sounded like you meant a mean stepmom because some stepmoms are very lovely.)\u00c2\u00a0 Then you called me a witch!\u00c2\u00a0 I am neither a mean stepmom or a witch.\u00c2\u00a0 I am actually a mom who loves you very much, and so I teach you and ask you to do what you need to do!\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Fortunately, because I am such a special mom, you probably do not even know what you are saying.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 So the rest of today, I will pretend to be \u00e2\u20ac\u0153mean!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 When he wants some food, you say,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh no, a mean step-mother or witch would never give you anything \u00e2\u20ac\u201c they are too selfish.\u00c2\u00a0 Only a kind mommy like me serves food.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m hungry!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s too bad, because your kind mommy would love to get you food, but remember I am acting like what you said, and mean step mothers and witches don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t care about needs!\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Hopefully, he will get the picture and want his real mommy back.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Let him know that if they call you a name, you will \u00e2\u20ac\u0153act\u00e2\u20ac\u009d that part so that they can learn what it means and how it is hurtful.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Get a book on kindness, or other related character issues to read to him when you are holding him and assuring him that you are always going to be his mom and that he is very blessed to have you.\u00c2\u00a0 Daddy can get involved and explain to your children what a <\/em>queen you are.\u00c2\u00a0 Daniel needs to confess that what he said was very rude.\u00c2\u00a0 I would have him come up with three kind and truthful things he could say.\u00c2\u00a0 Give him words he could use when he does not want to do what you ask him to do.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Love, Joyce<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Joyce, My 4 year old son, Daniel, was upset at me the other day and called me The Stepmom.\u00c2\u00a0 I believe he was referring to Cinderella’s mean stepmom.\u00c2\u00a0 Then a few days later, he called me a witch, when I asked him to do something he didn’t like (I was asking him to buckle in his car seat).\u00c2\u00a0 I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say other… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":298,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,30,16,6,34,29,10],"tags":[68,22,67],"class_list":["post-288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-daughters","category-dear-joyce","category-fathers","category-mothers","category-parenting-2","category-preschool","category-sons","tag-name-calling","tag-parenting","tag-stepmom"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Joyce, What to do about name-calling? - Warm an' Loving Ministries<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Warm an\u2019 Loving is a non-profit counseling and training center dedicated to helping heal individuals, couples, and families through professional counseling and seminars.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/dear-joyce-what-to-do-about-name-calling\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Joyce, What to do about name-calling? 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