{"id":268,"date":"2012-04-24T13:51:23","date_gmt":"2012-04-24T20:51:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/?p=268"},"modified":"2012-04-24T13:52:07","modified_gmt":"2012-04-24T20:52:07","slug":"dear-joyce-how-do-you-deal-with-temper-tantrums","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/dear-joyce-how-do-you-deal-with-temper-tantrums\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Joyce, How do you deal with temper tantrums?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Beckie<\/a><\/p>\n

Dear Joyce,<\/p>\n

I have a child (2nd born) who exhibits temper tantrums.\u00c2\u00a0 She will scream real loud in short bursts and will not let me help her (sometimes the screams are because she is frustrated with something \u00e2\u20ac\u201c like not being able to put clothes on right, but won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t let me help her).\u00c2\u00a0 I just walk out of the room when it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a tantrum of disobedience to signify that that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not acceptable.\u00c2\u00a0 But when she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s screaming out of frustration, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what to do for her.\u00c2\u00a0 Am I doing the
\nright thing when it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s out of disobedience by ignoring her and leaving the room?<\/p>\n

Lily<\/p>\n

Dear Lily,<\/em><\/p>\n

I wish I knew the age of your daughter so I could answer more specifically.\u00c2\u00a0 Being the second born, she may be comparing her skills to her older sibling.\u00c2\u00a0 Study each child so that you can praise as well as deal with the unique problem areas.\u00c2\u00a0 It is hard to analyze why a young child gets frustrated i.e. lack of vocabulary skills, lack of impulse control, fear of abandonment,<\/em>
\n need for food or sleep, or a sense of helplessness.\u00c2\u00a0 Just remember that when we as moms are in emotional distress, we rarely think clearly.\u00c2\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

We are the primary, and sometimes, the only resource to call.\u00c2\u00a0 When I suggest to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153ignore a behavior,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I am referring to not letting inappropriate behavior \u00e2\u20ac\u0153work\u00e2\u20ac\u009d for your child.\u00c2\u00a0 When your child is screaming, assure her that you love her, and that when she is in control, you will talk.\u00c2\u00a0 It is appropriate to have your child go to her room when she is behaving badly.<\/em><\/p>\n

When she is not upset, teach her how she can show her frustration.\u00c2\u00a0 Tell her what she cannot do when she is angry – throw things, scream at you, hit, etc.\u00c2\u00a0 Let her know she can come and ask for help.\u00c2\u00a0 Teach her what she can do and say:<\/em><\/p>\n