{"id":254,"date":"2012-03-19T09:00:48","date_gmt":"2012-03-19T16:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/?p=254"},"modified":"2013-01-30T13:49:55","modified_gmt":"2013-01-30T21:49:55","slug":"love-marriage-qa-more-than-a-couple","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/love-marriage-qa-more-than-a-couple\/","title":{"rendered":"Love &#038; Marriage Q&#038;A &#8211; More than a couple"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/20120319-Post.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-264\" title=\"20120319 Post\" src=\"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/20120319-Post.jpg\" alt=\"Beckie Riggs Photography\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\" srcset=\"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/20120319-Post.jpg 800w, https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/20120319-Post-300x199.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\" \/><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>How do you split holidays between families? \u00c2\u00a0How do you start telling your parents that you want to have holidays with your own family (wife and kids), alone, sometimes?<\/strong><br \/>\n<em>First, come to agreement as a couple. \u00c2\u00a0Then, both of you meet with each parent. \u00c2\u00a0It is best if the one presenting the decision is the child of that parent. \u00c2\u00a0That way parents deal with both of you and can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t blame the other spouse for &#8220;ruining our family.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>How do you deal with a controlling, nosey mother?<\/strong><br \/>\nYou cannot change your mother, but you can change your responses. \u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0Listen to your mom\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s words and perhaps respond with, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thanks for sharing.\u00c2\u00a0 Joe and I have decided to . . .\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00c2\u00a0 You cannot change your mom\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s attempt to control you, however, you can choose respond differently.\u00c2\u00a0 It will help if you and your future husband discuss the issue and make a decision.\u00c2\u00a0 You will need to simply state that decision to your mom.\u00c2\u00a0 Make sure you do the talking since she will see your husband as an intruder, i.e. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Becky was so perfect until she met Joe!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00c2\u00a0If she is prying in personal business, simply state: \u00c2\u00a0\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, I know you are concerned, and that is something we have decided not to share with anyone.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p><strong>My marriage partner is my business partner.\u00c2\u00a0 Sometimes I feel guilty if I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like to do the things my partner wants to do on a particular day, for example, go out to the movies after work. \u00c2\u00a0Do you have any suggestions?<\/strong><br \/>\n<em>Couples who work together have said how important it is to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153quit work\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and just be a couple. \u00c2\u00a0Leaving the office \u00e2\u20ac\u201c be it actual or virtual \u00e2\u20ac\u201c is essential for both of you. \u00c2\u00a0Sounds like you have different ideas about being off work. \u00c2\u00a0One may go out and play while the other wants to go home and relax. \u00c2\u00a0Work it out so both can experience the time off. \u00c2\u00a0Vary your evening\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s activities.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><\/strong><strong>We hear words like, independence, dependent, and co-dependent. \u00c2\u00a0What is meant by these terms and explain what a healthy marriage should strive for?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>As a child growing up, it is okay to be dependent on your parents for the basics of life and direction. \u00c2\u00a0When you are able to fully support yourself, you become independent of them. \u00c2\u00a0The next step is to find a partner that you can be inter-dependent with; mutually beneficially giving and receiving. \u00c2\u00a0The only relationship that is appropriate for an adult to be dependent in is with the Lord. \u00c2\u00a0Dependency and co-dependency in adult relationships is when I have to have you, and I have to have you need me.<\/em><br \/>\n<strong>This is our second marriage. \u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0Between us we have four children. \u00c2\u00a0Any suggestions?<\/strong><em><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>It is important to address why your first marriages failed.\u00c2\u00a0 Have you worked on correcting your issues that contributed to the breakup, and have you individually healed from the wounds?\u00c2\u00a0 It is important to change yourself, not just change partners.\u00c2\u00a0 Realize that bringing two families together is difficult.\u00c2\u00a0 Make sure you discuss how you are going to discipline his\/hers\/yours before you get married.\u00c2\u00a0 This will be further complicated when the former partner is still in the parenting picture.\u00c2\u00a0 We would recommend getting counsel and perhaps asking for a mentor couple that has walked this road before.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This is the last post in our Love &amp; Marriage series.\u00c2\u00a0 If you have any other questions you&#8217;d like to address, leave us a comment below!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do you split holidays between families? \u00c2\u00a0How do you start telling your parents that you want to have holidays with your own family (wife and kids), alone, sometimes? First, come to agreement as a couple. \u00c2\u00a0Then, both of you meet with each parent. \u00c2\u00a0It is best if the one presenting the decision is the child of that parent. \u00c2\u00a0That way parents deal with both of you and can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t blame&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":265,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,17],"tags":[21],"class_list":["post-254","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage","category-relationships","tag-marriage-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Love &amp; Marriage Q&amp;A - More than a couple - Warm an&#039; Loving Ministries<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Warm an\u2019 Loving is a non-profit counseling and training center dedicated to helping heal individuals, couples, and families through professional counseling and seminars.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/love-marriage-qa-more-than-a-couple\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Love &amp; 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