{"id":236,"date":"2012-01-25T10:00:31","date_gmt":"2012-01-25T18:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/?p=236"},"modified":"2012-01-27T13:35:37","modified_gmt":"2012-01-27T21:35:37","slug":"dear-joyce-i-have-become-so-impatient","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/dear-joyce-i-have-become-so-impatient\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Joyce, I have become so impatient . . ."},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/20120125-Post-smaller.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-237\" title=\"20120125 Post \" src=\"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/20120125-Post-smaller-1024x682.jpg\" alt=\"Siblings Adrea Scheidler Photography\" width=\"614\" height=\"409\" srcset=\"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/20120125-Post-smaller-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/20120125-Post-smaller-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 614px) 100vw, 614px\" \/><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/20120125-Post-smaller.jpg\"><br \/>\n<\/a>Dear Joyce,<\/p>\n<p>I have two preschoolers and one child in elementary school. \u00c2\u00a0I feel like I am very irritable and short most of the time, and I never thought I would be so impatient. \u00c2\u00a0My 4-year-old disobeys constantly, and I find that I am screaming at him every day. My kids are screaming and hurting each other. What can I do?<\/p>\n<p>Help! \u00c2\u00a0Sarah<\/p>\n<p><em>Dear Sarah,<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Thanks for acknowledging your struggles. \u00c2\u00a0Children will push every button possible, and they tend to zone out when there is a lot of yelling. \u00c2\u00a0Planning the commands and consequences will help you as you deal with three active children. \u00c2\u00a0Take the time to calm down before responding to your child\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s misbehavior so you respond in a more positive way. \u00c2\u00a0It is easier to be patient when you know what the rules are and what you will do when your child does not obey, i.e. to respond rather than to react. \u00c2\u00a0Consequences that are planned and explained in advance need to be consistently followed through. \u00c2\u00a0Do explain the commands and consequences when you are not angry.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Parents have to be reminded to be more grown up than their child. \u00c2\u00a0Working on your own impatience is the modeling your child needs, so explain that you are working on the character quality, patience. \u00c2\u00a0This gives you the authority to teach them what to do when they have a hot temper. \u00c2\u00a0\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You can get angry, but when you do, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hurt yourself, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hurt others, and don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t destroy things.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00c2\u00a0Be aware of your pressure points, and be in control of yourself before dealing with your child.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I recommend that you and your spouse talk about the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153biggies.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00c2\u00a0When life feels out of control, it is easy to get rule oriented and have far too many commands which will makes your lives complex. What rules are important, and what will be the consequence (positive if they follow the rule and negative if they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t)?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Your goal is to stop bad behavior and to encourage good behavior and good choices. The ultimate purpose in all of this is to develop character, yours and theirs.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153&#8230; Every moment of problem, conflict, doubt, question, confusion, difficulty, unity, division, joy, sorrow, work, leisure, relationship, obedience, rebellion, hope, fear, laughter, authority, and submission that make up the multicolored moments of family life must be seen as a teaching moment.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00c2\u00a0<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Age of Opportunity<\/span> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Paul David Tripp<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Love, Joyce<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Joyce, I have two preschoolers and one child in elementary school. \u00c2\u00a0I feel like I am very irritable and short most of the time, and I never thought I would be so impatient. \u00c2\u00a0My 4-year-old disobeys constantly, and I find that I am screaming at him every day. My kids are screaming and hurting each other. What can I do? Help! \u00c2\u00a0Sarah Dear Sarah, Thanks for acknowledging your struggles.&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":250,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,30,16,6,34,29,17],"tags":[55,53,54],"class_list":["post-236","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-daughters","category-dear-joyce","category-fathers","category-mothers","category-parenting-2","category-preschool","category-relationships","tag-discipline","tag-patience","tag-self-control"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dear Joyce, I have become so impatient . . . - Warm an&#039; Loving Ministries<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Warm an\u2019 Loving is a non-profit counseling and training center dedicated to helping heal individuals, couples, and families through professional counseling and seminars.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/warmanloving.org\/site\/dear-joyce-i-have-become-so-impatient\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Joyce, I have become so impatient . . . - Warm an&#039; 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